


Rescue Romance Is Truly The Worst Genre

by botgal



Category: Hiveswap, Homestuck
Genre: Crushes, F/M, Flushed Romance | Matesprits, Secret Crush, implications of pale crushes by Tegiri, nerds watching anime, one dork crushes flush and one crushes pale, one of their flush crushes at any rate, polypa introspects, though flushed romance is main focus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-23
Updated: 2019-12-23
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:20:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21915121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/botgal/pseuds/botgal
Summary: Polypa muses on anime and the concept of certain types of romance within and without.
Relationships: Polypa Goezee & Tegiri Kalbur, Polypa Goezee/Tegiri Kalbur
Comments: 2
Kudos: 40
Collections: Purrsonal Picks





	Rescue Romance Is Truly The Worst Genre

In your own opinion, there are several awful genres of romance. Some worse than others. Some you don't even want to consider romance so much as a badly written joke meant to make the writer's kismesis extremely angry.

Comedic kismesis plots are way up there, followed very quickly behind by high fantasy plots full of flushed centered vacillations. (You swear you will never forgive that one show with all the dragons for what it did with its ending). You're also not a huge fan of romances between sea dwellers and gold bloods, but honestly that's a matter of personal preference more than any actual level of badness of the trope. 

But if there is one genre of romance that, above all others, really makes you want to rip your hair out, it's the absolute worst of them all.

Rescue Romance.

It's so overplayed! So cliched! So predictable!!

Some Troll saves another Troll's life. The rescued becomes enamored with them and wants to pay them back for saving their life by intensely caring about their emotional well-being. They never get stronger or want to try and be anything else but their shoulder to cry on. Just becoming a pale shoulder to snuggle into and comfort the rescuer whenever they need it.

Boring. Cliche. Stupid. No quadrant variety whatsoever.

That's not to say there are no  _ good _ examples. You've seen some good stuff. Actual stories where the couple grows and become stronger people with each others support. Growing from one person and an emotional crutch into a firm, supportive pair. You like that. You can respect that.

But for the most part, you're just sick of it. All pale all the time? Really? Even the bland comedies are  _ trying _ for something new when they're going for a blackrom. There's just no other result for it, it seems.

Or so the movies say.

A quiet snort next to you catches you off guard in your thoughts, and you look toward your host with surprise.

Tegiri? Fall asleep during anime club? That was a new one. He was usually the one most enthused. Especially when he got his hands on a new title.

Eh, must have just worn himself out a bit more than usual chasing purrbeasts or something. He's not really someone you feel the need to worry about that much. He's a giant doofus and a total nerd, and he definitely goes after things way out of his league to handle. But things just seem to work out one way or another for him. He always comes back after his misadventures just fine. 

So, no. You really don't think you need to worry about him. If he could haul you out of a burning building and everything else, you think he can handle some extra exhaustion.

You glance back forward toward the screen, trying to discern what you had missed in your moment of zoning out. Which takes all of ten seconds as you realize what started you off on your mental tangent in the first place.

Ugh, oh right. This anime is just  _ full _ of rescue romance bullshit. Honestly, how does this guy get all these girls crushing over him just because he rescues them from monsters? And all pale too? What diamond fetishist wrote this nonsense? The sheer amount of near shoosh paps and gratuitous accidental hugs and nuzzles and everything else is enough to make your ganderbulbs roll right out of their sockets.

"Is It Improper To Exhibit Pale Feelings For A Highblood In An Underground Monster Imprisonment Cavern?" is definitely not going on your recommended anime list anytime soon.

With no desire to keep your eyes on the screen, you turn to look back at Tegiri.

His hat is still firmly in place, but his glasses have gone pretty well askew. One lens nearly completely away from the eye it was intended for. Giving you a proper, full view of that part of his face.

His lashes are utterly still, his brow smooth and unfurrowed by the usual "trying too hard to be stoic" from he usually did. His lashes were longer than they seemed to be at a distance. His face had some decent angles on it. Sort of reminded you of the actor in that movie you had seen a long time ago.

His hair had grown out since you had first met him. He used to keep it up to his chin before, guess he decided shoulder length was fine. Maybe some anime character had it that way. Whatever the case, he made it work. Somehow.

Sometimes, when you stayed for the stretch of a few nights, you would steal some of his ablution products for your own use. His hair wash, perhaps a bit predictably from how long you've known him, smells sort of like cherry blossoms. On occasion after using it, you like to bring some of your own hair up to your sniff nub and take a whiff. Just to enjoy the scent.

Your gaze lingers at Tegiri's hair, even as your vision fades out in favor of letting your thoughts wander. Sometimes, in odd moments, you wonder if you got just close enough, his hair would smell the same as his shampoo…

A slight stirring from him snaps you out of it, and you whip your head back forward to the screen. Laser focusing on it as Tegiri jerks himself awake with a short.

"What was… Did I… fall asleep?"

"Yeah, you did, dork," you reply, doing your best to sound nonchalant. "You conked out about 10 minutes ago." Tegiri rubs his thumb and forefinger against his eyes, pushing his glasses up to his forehead to do so.

"Forgive me, Polypa. I didnt mean to… I suppose I'm just more tired than I thought."

"Its fine. If you want to go to cupe, you can." He seems about to protest, but you wave him off. "Its fine. We can have a rewatch some other time. I just want to finish this episode before I hit the sopor. I know where your futons are. So get to bed already."

"I see. Well, you know where my block is if you need me. So… good day."

"Good day."

You watch him cross to where his room is, focusing on his retreating figure until the rattle of the sliding door makes him disappear from view.

With a sigh, you settle back into a hunched over sitting position. Hugging your knees to your chest as you watch the protagonist woo another girl into a diamonds crush by saving her life.

This is such a stupid anime.

It would be way better if one of these girls had a flushed crush on him instead.

**Author's Note:**

> A conflict of Tegiri crushing pale on Polypa while Polypa crushes flush on Tegiri is a guilty pleasure of mine.


End file.
